okay. so these are things that nessa wants to do.

(x) go to the gym.
(x) thread my eyebrows.
(x) go for a facial.
(x) invest in good skin care products.
(x) more make up.
(x) alot of eyeliner.
(?) waxing?
(x) GET FIT!

okay. this is the list i have for now.
because i'm not going to spend anymore money on clothes.
because i believe in looking good.
more than anything else.
cause if you look good.
you'll naturally feel good.
and when you feel good, you'll be happy.
and when you're happy, you give of good vibes.
and when you give off good vibes, people around you will feel better about you too.
and when they do.
everyone is happy!
see my logic?


know what i want to be in the next two years?
is to be like emy.
be a part time mananger and earn alot alot of money.
its a good idea isn't it?
i know i'm not going to stay in coffeebean the rest of my life.
but since i'm there.
i might as well just aim for it right?
like what jo says.
even though you like where you are and you're simply satisfied.
it never hurts to aim for something high and be better at what you do.
make sense doesn't it?
thats why her picture is up there yo!
my voice of logic.

i know i'm just damn tired now.
i'm cold and i'm having a tummyache.
its not a good thing yo.
it just isnt good.

and i know it isnt good to keep everything inside.
but what can i do.
since my closest friend left and i'm really lost.
now you know why its so difficult for me to trust?
because when i do.
entirely trust someone.
they just leave me.
and i simply feel lost all over again.
and it has happened once too many times.
so where do i go from now?
be a cynic and not trust anyone fully?
and keep everything to myself until one day.
i lose it.
it shouldnt be the case.
not at all.
lets just hope thing will look up for me.
although i can say that things are pretty stable.
there are some things that just can't be helped.

anyway.
i have been thinking.
how come GOD doesnt create rainbows anymore.
i dont see them on the way to school anymore either.
rainbows make me happy.
so GOD, if you want to make me happy.
make rainbows for me to see alright?
i dont mind getting wet in the rain.
so long as it makes me happy.

and when i go to year two.
i'm going to join a sport.
i'm not going to stay and dance anymore.
serious.
cause the people there arent exactly people.
so dunfu!
rock climbing?
no way am i going to join akido.
or however you spell it.
i don't want to die so young.

oh yes,
for my 18th birthday.
i know its stll so far away considering that i just passed my 17th birthday.
but i don't care anyway.
i'm not going to get drunk.
but as i was saying.
people!
i want a locket for my birthday.
or if anyone wants to give me a random gift.
i dont mind.
cause i went to vintage shops and they tell me that they dont have it anymore.
so yeah.
it got me kinda sad.

i think i typed too much.
so i should stop.
like now would be a good time yo.